Professor Saud Alam Qasmi [1]
Hinduism, also known as Vedic or Sanatana Dharma, is the ancient religion of India. This religion has many details, including beliefs, actions, commandments, austerities, customs, lifestyle, relationships, economy, social and and business.
Rules about Marriage:
Sanatana Dharma has given detailed guidance about the marital life. Like other religions, Hinduism permits celibacy for ascetics and encourages renunciation of domestic relations in late life. However, marriage was encouraged for ordinary people because this is the way to preserve the human race.
The detailed marriage rules are found in the Sanatana Dharma book Manu Shastra.
A Hindu historian, Mahendra Pratap Singh, has written.
“Marital life has been highly praised in ancient Hindu religious books. Life without a wife has been declared incomplete and unsanctified. According to Manu ji, an unmarried man is unfit to perform rites.” (1)
Hinduism divides people into four classes according to birth and performance of duties (1) Brahman, is the highest caste. It is clearly stated in the Manu Smriti, that the Brahman in the world is the best based on dharma because he is created from Brahma’s mouth and is entrusted with the Holy Vedas. (2)
2, Kshatriya: The other high caste (Kshatriyas) are created from the arms of Brahma. Five karmas are prescribed for them. To protect the subjects, give charity, perform yagya, and read the Vedas, not getting attached to worldly riches. (2)
3. Vaish Vaish has been created from the thigh of Brahma. Seven duties and karmas have been specified: protecting the cows, giving charity, performing Yagya, reading the Vedas, trading, usury dealings, and agriculture.
4. Shudra: Shudra has been created from Brahma’s feet and assigned only one karma, i.e., to serve these three castes or varnas (2)
In the Manu Smriti, these four castes are ordered to marry a girl of their caste.(3)It is prescribed for a Brahmin to take a bath and ablution, perform the ceremony, and marry a good girl of his caste with the Guru’s permission. (5)
A Shudra is allowed to marry only a girl of his caste, a Vaish with a girl of his caste and a Shudra, a Kshatriya with a girl of his caste and the Vaish caste, and a Brahmin with a girl of all four castes. 6
“In Sanatana Dharma, it is said to be preferable to marry a girl of one’s caste, and to marry a girl of another caste is permissible in exceptional cases..”
Shudras are not allowed to marry upper-caste girls. Similarly, Brahmin, Kshatriya, and Vaish are permitted to marry a Shudara girl in exceptional cases. But at the same time, it has been instructed that:
“By sharing a bed with a Shudara girl, a Brahmin goes to hell (Naraka), and by having a boy from her, one loses all his privileges and rights (Brahm-Karama). In the house of the Shudras, the Deva Karam and Pare Karam offered before the deity are not accepted; that Brahman does not enter into paradise (Swarga)
Sanatana Dharma prohibits a Brahmin from marrying a Shudra girl. His repentance is not accepted. It has been said that the Brahman who touched his lips with the Shudra maid and her breath entered his mouth and a child is born, the repentance of such Brahmin is not accepted according to the scripture (Shastra)
Women have been instructed not to desire men who are lower than themselves; otherwise, they will be punished. Manu ji’s rule is that a girl who loves a higher caste man cannot be punished even a little. One who wants a low-caste lover should be kept tied up in the house. (Manu Smriti Chapter 8, Mantra 365)
Similarly, men are commanded not to desire women above their caste; otherwise, they will be punished. It is said in Manu Smriti:
He who aspires to the higher caste girl is worthy of amputation and murder. And the one who has intercourse with a woman of his caste after giving something to the desirous girl will not be punished. If the girl’s father agrees, he may marry her after providing some compensation. (11)
According to the rules of Manu, the woman whom one marries, should be worshipped. So in Manu Smriti it is said:
the father, brother, husband, and brother-in-law of a girl who wants progress should worship the girl. (12)
Kinds of Marriages:
Eight types of marriage are mentioned in Sanatana Dharma.
(1) Brahma Marriage: After giving cloth and ornaments to husband and wife, calling the husband and giving the wife away is a solemn Brahma Marriage.
2. Daiva Marriage: Yagya (sacrificial ceremony) is performed after giving offerings to the girl.
3. Arsha Marriage: One or two cows taken from the husband
And are given to the wife.
4. Prajapatya Marriage: Husband and wife marry together after rites, and the husband worships the wife.
5- Asura Marriage: by giving wealth to girl and girl’s caste members, girl is taken home.
6. Gandharva Marriage: Husband and girl establish sex relations secretly.
7. Rakshasa Marriage: The girl is abducted with force while crying after being beaten.
8. Paishacha Marriage: To have sex with a sleeping, sick, or intoxicated woman with lust results in marriage.
Among the above marriage methods, the last two kinds have been declared bad, and it has been emphasized that the first six are for Brahmins and the last four for Chhetri. Three of the last have been declared permissible by some for lower castes of Vish and Shudra (14). However, generally, mong the five types of marriages mentioned, three are permissible, and two are not permissible.
Marrying a woman in Gandharva fashion by abducting a woman has been practiced in Hindu society since ancient times. For this reason, Parthavi Raj Chauhan (1666 – 611929), who was the king of Delhi and Rajasthan, kidnapped the daughter of Raja Jaichand of Kanauj against her parents’ wishes. Because of this, Jay Chand turned against Prithvi Raj. A similar practice of forced marriage is also found in the Vedic period. Dr. Prithi Prabha Goel writes:
Gandhara and Rakshasa Marriage forms can be traced in Rigveda (12/27/10/111815). The origin of these two kinds of marriage can be traced to the Swamber-type mode of marriage found in the Veda. Marriage by abduction or kidnapping of a girl is referred to in some Vedic hymns.
Some Other Rules:
Sanatana Dharma emphasizes marrying young girls. Brahmins are especially urged to marry minor girls. Abū Rihān al-Birūni ( 1048) wrote about the customs of the Hindu society of his era, i.e., the eleventh century AD.
“It is not permissible for a Brahmin to marry a girl who is more than twelve years of age (17)
“Sanatan Dharma prohibits taking wealth from a girl in marriage. In this regard, Manu’s edicts are clearly stated.
“The father of the girl should not take even a little compensation. By taking some compensation out of greed, he will be called the seller of the girl. Those relatives who live by taking horses, wealth, and clothes are great sinners; they go to hell. Some Rishis have made it permissible to take two cows in an Arsha marriage, but taking anything is called selling the girl. Selling a girl whose compensation is not demanded by caste members is not called selling a girl. Not demanding anything is kindness for the girl.
On the contrary, it has been taught not only to give wealth but also to worship her. In the Manu Shastra, it is said: there is a lot of Kalyan (sa’ādah) for the fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers-in-law who give jewelry and clothes and worship women. (19)
In the ninth chapter of Manu Smriti, the attributes, conduct, and behavior of married and virgin girls are described in detail. In Sanatana Dharma, not only are the types of marriage mentioned in detail, but also what kind of children are born by marrying which type of woman. However, it is not mentioned that if marriage becomes a burden and there is no possibility of continuing the marriage between husband and wife, how can there be separation or divorce? For this reason, in Sanatana Dharma, marriage is a sacrament, not an agreement, and is called birth-binding. There is no way to separate after marriage. A marriage can only be terminated by the death of one of the husband and wife. Manu Ji’s law is that.
Even if the husband is unfaithful and loves another woman. Even then a wife has to serve faithfully and always serve him like a god. (20)
Likewise, there is no room for the widow-marriage in Hinduism. For a woman whose husband has died, the Manu’s ruling is this :
“Whom the father or the brother marries a woman, she should remain in his service, and after the death of her husband, she should not have sexual relations with any man.”
A widow is forbidden to remarry in Hinduism. So Munu ji has prevented the widow from marrying with these words:
A woman should not take the name of any other husband after the death of her husband. Eat a little flower or vegetable as you wish and keep a healthy life. (22)
In ancient India, this religious order was strictly followed, and widow re-marriage and divorce were not practiced in Hindu society. Hindu scholar Mahendra Pratap Singh has written about ancient Hindu society.
Widow marriage and divorce became almost extinct, and sati, or burning in the pyre of the dead husband, was generally adopted. Among the wealthy families, men practiced polygamy. (23)
In Hinduism, after the death of the husband, the widow is not allowed to remarry, but the man is allowed to remarry. It is clearly stated in the Manu Smriti.
A religion- knowing Brahmin, Kshatriya or Vaishya on the death of his wife should burn her body with the fire of the Agnihotri and after performing the last rites should remarry”.
In Hinduism, men are allowed to remarry after the death of the wife and even during the life of the wife. That is why the tradition of polygamy was prevalent in the ancient Hindu society. Dr. Prati Parbhabha Goel has written:
In ancient Hinduism, men were allowed to have multiple marriages. The husband used to marry the second wife even if the first wife was alive. There were many reasons for the second marriage. Firstly, the husband used to marry a second time to fulfill his sexual desire. Secondly, he used to remarry because of his wife’s illness. Manu wrote about women, saying that if the wife falls ill, the husband should marry again with permission and not dishonor her. Thirdly, if there was no son from the first wife, the husband can marry a second time” (25).
Conclusion:
The summary is that according to the rules and instructions of marriage in Hindu Dharma, marriage should be done only within one’s caste and community. Marriage is a birth bond; it cannot be broken in life. A wife cannot remarry after the death of her husband. However, the husband can remarry during the wife’s life and after that. After the death of the husband, the wife should be burnt alive, which is called sati.
The ritual of sati is now outlawed, the Hindu Marriage Act enacted by the Indian Parliament in 1900 has undergone many reforms, and polygamy is prohibited. Now, judicial divorce is permitted in exceptional cases.
References
1-Mahendra Pratap Singh, Life in Ancient India, Varanasi, 1981, p.81
(2) Manu Smriti, Niwal Kishore Press, Kanpur,1917, Adhyaya 1Mantra 89
(3) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 1, Mantra 89
(4) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 12
(5) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 4
(6) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 13
(7) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 12
(8) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 17, 18
(9) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 91
(10) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 8, Mantra 365
(11) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 8, Mantra 366
(12) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 55
(13) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 27-34
(14) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 23
(15) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 25
(16)Prati Prabha Goel, Hindu Vivah Mimansa, Jodhpur, 982 P 40
(17) Abu Rihan al-Beiruni, Mā Lil-Hind, Urdu Translation, Khuda Bakhsh Library, Patna, 1993, P 193
(18) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 51-53
(19) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 3, Mantra 55
(20) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 5, Mantra 154
(21) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 5, Mantra 150
(22) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 5, Mantra 157
(23) Life in Ancient India, P81
(24) Manu Smriti, Adhyaya 5, Mantra 161-65
25) Hindu Vivah Mimansa
[1] Former Dean Faculty of Theology, Aligarh Muslim University, Aligarh